I came to my mat this morning and was reminded to let go of any judgements.
Maybe you are like me in that there is a continuous stream of running commentary throughout your practice.
Some days are better than others; sometimes I can completely surrender to my breath. I silence the “monkey mind”, let go and just appreciate the flow of my body, the steady in and out of my breath. Only a few comments slip out under my breath, but mostly I can forget about everything but the sound of my breath coming in and out of my nostrils.
Other times I am continuously judging my every move; where am I, how am I doing, comparing everything to yesterday’s session or perhaps the day before. This can get very frustrating as the more judgemental I get the less I seem to enjoy my class, I feel as if there is nothing I can do right.
Yet, if I just let go; if I can just practice Aparigraha by letting go of my expectations; letting go of all my worries, fears, and judgements – I will fall into the ease of just being.
Even the phrase sounds lovely… to just fall into being my true self. To allow myself to be who I am supposed to be without any expectations of being other that what I am at this perfect moment.
Have you found yourself comparing a previous class to one you are currently in and found something lacking? I have…
I compare the teacher to another. I compare how well I am doing; how the flow is going. So many things to think about, yet really… why was that class more fulfilling. What expectations do I have of myself in this class; why is the class not working for me today?
Is it possible that I more fully surrendered into just existing; that I surrendered more deeply? That I allowed myself to relax, to let go of everything – with no thought as to how things should be, or how I want things to be.
Just the pure bliss of experiencing the present moment with no thought tied in yesterday or tomorrow.
If I can just admit that I am choosing not to be fulfilled in this present moment; that my expectations of this moment is what is holding me back from just being. If I allowed myself the pleasure of just experiencing I would receive the grace of just being.
Aparigraha reminds us to let go, to allow you the space to fill with grace.