Communication

AN UNCONVENTIONAL REVIEW: CONSCIOUS COMMUNICATION

AN UNCONVENTIONAL REVIEW: CONSCIOUS COMMUNICATION

Why being normal sucks!….and how embracing the unconventional can help you live a happier, more fulfilled life. This has been the premise of the last 2 weeks on my journey with Cliff Harvey. Ok, so he doesn’t really know… but I have been taking a lot of notes, and since he has been in Vancouver, I am well on my way to what we “mystical, universal… A.D.D holisitic, pro-humanity potential peeps” call “re defining your values and ethos.”

Life and the Universe have a funny way of bringing to us the exact people, places, circumstances, and messages that our souls are calling for at the right time. It could be a phone call from a long-lost friend we’ve been thinking about, a timely financial windfall when we need it most,  a seemingly random meeting at a social event that leads to the perfect job opportunity, or a poignant bumper sticker, or even a facebook photo—the possibilities are endless, and sometimes it is exactly the opposite – for me, a rejection letter from “what I thought was my career path,” needing to re locate and move, and at a cross roads of “WTF do I do now,” and should I choose “ice cream” or “chicken wings and beer” moment – here’s the reality; whatever your “sign” is, get off at the next exit and see where it leads – because an experience is an experience, there is no good or bad, merely our own perception which defines the “experience.”

What if you believed that everything in your life was happening for your greater good?  That you couldn’t go wrong? That even in the face of adversity, the universe was conspiring in your favor? Would this not make it so much easier to just live life, rather than continuing to run the hamster wheel of doubt, expectation and what if’s? Well, hold onto your hats – because if you just sit back and focus on what you want – it does indeed, manifest.

When it comes to synchronicity, life seems to land us in exactly where we need to be – even if it is in a place we are unsure of. No matter what the path, we do have a part to play and the all-important variable that we are in control of is navigated by our own personal moral compass and beliefs.

We have to BELIEVE that our dreams are real. We have to TRUST that anything is possible. We have to KNOW that every little action we take on behalf of our dreams is supported by unseen forces that are working for us and with us. Even when times get tough and all signs point to giving up, we have to dig deeper and find the faith to keep going.

Conscious Communication

Last night I attended the “Effective Conscious Communication” workshop, where his aim is to simply provide insight into why the way we communicate affects our interpersonal relationships and how we can transform that to develop more harmonious, peaceful and compassionate dynamics with others.

Cliff Harvey draws on his 14 years of clinical experience as a mind body coach, and as a naturopathic doctor to show how we can create more harmonious relationships at home at work and in any other area of life with a few simple intentions, tools and exercises. Instinctively, my first thought was… “oh crap, I am currently sitting in a workshop for “people in relationships” … ahem… check please… note to the world… I am still single.”

Cliff’s first few lines included, sometime along the lines – “we are all in relationships, whether it be with our partners, our friends, family, ourselves and the universe. When we learn to be more responsive than reactive we can empower our communication and encourage greater learning and personal growth.  Ergo – perhaps the key indicator for me here is “reactive” and “relationship,” two words if ever asked my response would be… “No, I am not” (insert awkward school girl giggle here).” Ah, yes the universe and it’s magnitude of aligning the stars and planets for all to see.

Intention is a large part of any holistic health modality, hell, it’s a large part of any modality, and life as we know it – or at least it should be, because it is the fuel behind the flame. It ignites the fire from which all else follows. “The intention we take into any communication (or any situation) drastically changes the context of that communication (or situation). Studies have shown that when people are pre-conditioned with negative stimuli they perceive events afterwards negatively. Conversely, when people are pre-conditioned with positive stimuli they will perceive events afterwards in a more positive light.”

Seems easy enough, but how often do we really think, do and act as thus? It seems to me, that as a human species we seem to focus on the bad, the what isn’t going right, or what we don’t want – rather than the experience is just an experience, it is neither good nor bad – it just is. If we choose to focus our intention on what we do want, and we visualize it as thus – we can and do bring about that change for the better.

Cliff brings up to very key points and that is the idea of trust and intention – Trusting ourselves and trusting others; which is no easy feat, but it is the foundation from which all else is built. It really boils down to self care and compassion for ourselves and for others. Focus on the intention of non0judging, loving compassion and simply receiving what each other are saying without judgement, and in the words of Philo… “Be Kind, for everyone is fighting a great battle.”

When we tune in to the synchronicity of life, when we look with the eyes of trusting in that intention and listen with the ears of and touch of compassion, we begin to experience the undeniable truth that we are all connected, that there is rhyme and reason to the way life flows, and that each and every one of us is accounted for. We begin to know without a doubt that we ALL have something special and unique to offer the world.

During the Q&A portion of the interactive dialogue, I realized that we were all there for various reasons – but our vision was the same, and that was to not merely “improve our communication” skills or “improve relationships,” but to CONNECT and in connecting and listening to others, we innately begin to break down our own barriers and realize that the path each of us are traveling may be the more challenging one, they may have setbacks, but the road less travelled, is the one worth setting forth your quest on.

One of the workshop participant’s, Lynne Laporte a triathlon coach, had this to say about the workshop and experience;

“the workshop is was really cool. Honestly it’s so hard to put into words because it was one of those things where the content itself was interesting but what I got out of it the most was the group experience. It was a workshop that was less context focused and more Interaction driven. In that even if you didn’t “learn” anything new, the context in which the information was shared was what I took away the most!”

The group discussion and sharing was key to the evenings success.

“Experience the breakthrough of realising your power to choose your life of passion and purpose! Live the S**T out of life! “

Next Work Shop –

Choosing You! How to connect to your life of passion and purpose and achieve the goals that really matter

Date: June 3rd

Time: 9am – 6pm

Location: Tides Canada, Hollyhock Room

Price: $199.00

Sources:

Cliff Harvey – http://www.cliffharvey.com/

Lynne Laporte – Enhanced Performance (http://enhancedperformance.ca/)  Switching Gears – (www.switchinggearstriclub.com)

Conscious Communication: An Interview with Cliff Harvey

Conscious Communication: An Interview with Cliff Harvey

 “Com.mu.ni.ca.tion ~ A process by which information is transfered. The act of exchange; of  thoughts, actions, messages.. Connection.

Con.scious ~ Aware of and responding to one’s surroundings, environment, and of ones own existence; awake.”

As a coach in corrective mechanics and integrated yoga, I am well placed to educate my clients how at the cellular level the mechanical, physical, bioelectrical and biomechanical functions of all our systems – “our physical body” – provide  “communication and feedback” to one’s mind, and ultimately, how one’s mind (through our thoughts, needs, attachments etc) can ultimately affect one’s physical body as well.

As the great Buddha once said, “What we think, we become.” But what about communicating outside the “bubble” of our own internal world? We know that humans require connection; without connecting with others and our environment, we would not survive. We would wither away in solitude and cease to exist. From the dawn of time humans evolve by connecting to one another and to our surroundings. This gives rise to a new level of communication – Conscious Communication.

Our overall well-being is fundamentally linked to the ability to effectively and clearly communicate our needs in the universe, and our purpose in life.

Photo of Effective Conscious Communication Workshop

The New Thought Movement in 1904-1910 was pioneered by Thomas Troward who strongly influced the idea of ‘conscious communicaton” and claimed that thought precedes physical form and that “the action of the mind plants the seed, the nucleus which, if allowed to grow undisturbed, will eventually attract to itself all the conditions necessary for its manifestation in outward visible form.”

The law of attraction; abundantly shows us that “like attract like”; that positive thoughts attract positive outcomes and negative thoughts attract negative outcomes.  Much like the phrases, for example: “I need more money” or “I’ll never find love”,   (which we have all uttered from time to time)… allows the subject (you and me) to continue to “need money” or “never find love”. Why? Simple. You are not communicating a solution, an action. You are not communicating the goal, you are in essence only communicating the problem and until we make a conscious decision to communicate and focus our thoughts on the result. For instance; “I have more money now” or “I am currently walking the path of love.”

Let’s take that one step further. COMMUNICATION WITH ANOTHER!

What is the difference between being a good communicator and being a master of conscious communication skills? Communication as a general term can be very wide spread and interpretations and intentions can vary from person to person, culture to culture etc.  Conscious Communication implies first and foremost that a level of ‘consciousness’ is present. As the communicator, we need to be aware of at least four key elements.

1. Be aware of the self. This applies to the intention behind the conversation, personal agenda, emotions, fears, and opinions that may progress or hinder the flow of communication. Taking responsibility for your feelings and making it as easy as possible for the other person to understand your point of view.

2. Be aware of the other person. The ability to keep an open mind and be open and respectful to their emotions, fears, opinions and worldview is crucial in communicating.

3. Be aware of the environment. The ambiance dedicated to the conversation will shift the flow substantially. Is the environment ideal, does it add or take away from the experience of the conversation?

4. Be aware of the support structures that may help or hinder effective communication; for example a coach, a mediator a professional to offer feedback and keep the flow on track.

ET the Movie

Keeping on track with my 4 week introduction to Cliff Harvey, author of “Choosing You” and “Time Rich Cash Optional”, whose speaking engagements and workshops draw people from all over the world.

One of Cliff’s workshops is based on “Conscious Communication,” where he draws from more than 14 years  clinical experience as an ND and as a mind-body coach to show how we can create more harmonious relationships at home, at work, and in any other area of life with a few simple intentions, tools and exercises.

 

An Interview with Cliff Harvey on Conscious Communication:

Q. Cliff, in one of your workshops called ‘Effective Conscious Communication’. Your 3 main themes are (1) The value of Brave Conversations, (2) The importance of speaking your truth and (3) How to use positive framing to literally transform your relationships. That’s pretty powerful stuff. Without giving away any secrets… what do you hope your participants will walk away with after one of your workshops?

 A. Particularly over the last few years of Life and Purpose coaching I have noticed real challenges for people arising from poor communication, resulting in stress, anxiety and poor health. We all know how to communicate…but seldom do we know how to communicate compassionately, effectively and in a way that allows us to be more harmoniously aligned with others AND our highest goals, values and purpose.

My hope is that participants in this particular workshop will walk away with a few simple, effective tools that they can apply straight away in order to create happier, more fulfilling relationships with those around them. 

Q. You mention that you draw on your clinical experience working with patients and clients to formulate this and other workshops. Are there any particular experiences that have influenced the communication tools you outline?

A. There really are too many to name! But in essence the tools that I apply in practice and that I teach, have come from a lifetime of experience and spiritual practice. One of the great things about moving more and more over the years into Life & Purpose Coaching and Mind-Body-Spirit medicine has been the integration of all aspects of my ‘life’ into my ‘work’.

For example I grew up doing yoga with my Dad which gave me an early insight into midnfulness, the mind-body connection as well as tenets of Eastern Philosophy.

I went on to research and become involved in Buddhist practice for many years from my early teens, as well as investigating mystic Christianity, Sufism and many, many other contemplative traditions. When I integrated this learning (and the many realisations along the way) with the scientific and medical knowledge I had garnered studying nutrition, strength and conditioning and Natuopathic medicine, it was quite a powerful combination!

The intention and compassion based aspects of the communication strategies I teach definitely rest on this basis. The ‘action’ based tools have arisen from study of various things like NLP, Ericksonian Hypnosis, Psych-K and other modalities.

But I think most importantly taking the intention of love and compassion, and cultivating awareness –  allows you to learn and grow from difficult situations, with difficult people and this learning process is something I also teach in tthe workshops.

A few very special people in a very special time and place in my life had a huge role to play in one of the ‘lynchpin’ exercise I teach for encouraging ‘conscious communication’ –  and so a big thank you for that goes out to Kriya, Dale, Lise, Jennifer, Alex, Christine and Derek at our wonderful Zorba-Buddha house in Kitsilano may it long reside in our hearts and memories!

Stay tuned next week, as we wrap up our 4 week introduction to Cliff’s mind-body coaching and sneak peek at his upcoming workshops in Vancouver.

 

Sources:

Cliff’s Website: http://www.cliffharvey.com/

Time Rich Cash Optional: http://www.timerichcashoptional.com/

Katoa Health: http://www.katoahealth.com/workshops–courses.html

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