I recently lost someone dear to me. My boyfriend’s mother, Sharon, passed away from a severe case of adenocarcinoma. In other words, stage 4 lung cancer which had spread throughout her body and into her brain and there was just no stopping it.
I’ve thought and wrote a lot about being grateful and living presently, but never before have I truly felt I understood it until now.
Each moment, breath, day is a blessing. This is reiterated to us all the time in yoga. But do we actually believe it? I don’t think I did until I saw how quickly someone’s life can change for the worse.
Is this why so many good people go sooner than others? To be our teachers, our reminder? To fully take in all we can, enjoy the ride and the bumps that come with it because we never really know when it will end. Be out of reach.
Sharon’s family is doing remarkably well considering they’ve lost a mother, wife, auntie, sister. I don’t know if I’d be so positive. Where does this optimism come from? Seeing the good in this sudden loss which should bring negativity, pity, remorse. And that’s just it. There is no remorse felt by my boyfriend Steve or his family. There wasn’t anything they wished they told her. No more I love you’s or words of appreciation and encouragement. No regret of not seeing, calling, emailing her enough. No grudges left unforgiven. No torturous wondering of how she felt about them. Nothing.
In all the sadness and heartache. Questions of why and confusion. Sharon’s family came out of this sadness with peace.
So I’d like to use this as my reminder and anyone else’s who may need it. To take those silent peaceful moments in yoga or throughout the day and really use them for what they’re meant for. Thanking ourselves, thanking the ones we love, and truly acknowledging how much we have to be grateful for. Finding even a bit of light in a heavy situation because at least we are having an experience and most likely learning something.
Even in the loss of Sharon, her loved ones take the good out of the situation with them. She didn’t suffer for long. Memories of her being herself rather than a sick person are dominant. Now she can always be with us, no location separates us.
Now, I know every time someone passes away, endless kind things are shared. Nothing bad. In Sharon’s case (and I am not being biased) she truly was a delight. A warm, loving, open hearted person. Her family’s gracious handling of her passing proves all the admiration to be genuine.
So now it’s time for a thank you, to Sharon. In this hard time, I learned something sacred. I hope you as readers have, too.