6 Tips to Deal with the Elephant in the Room
Okay so I’m just going to say it! Many of us our ruled by our emotions!
There’s the over emotional, unemotional or those who deny emotion. There are the people that react or overreact or just act, or the people who are boisterous, quiet or confident all of which are tied to our emotions. Sure our emotions encompass our personalities, but they shouldn’t have to define us. Our patterns, actions and behaviours, that result from our emotions, can be “trained” without changing our personalities, but for some reason we seem to grow up with this disconnect.
What are emotions exactly? Well, according to the dictionary;
Emotion is the complex psychophysiological experience of an individuals state of mind as interacting with biochemical (internal) and environmental (external) influences. In humans, emotion fundamentally involves “physiological arousal, expressive behaviors, and conscious experience.”Emotion is associated with mood, temperament, personality and disposition, and motivation. Motivations direct and energize behavior, while emotions provide the affective component to motivation, positive or negative.
Therefore, those individuals who say they aren’t “emotional” are wrong. They are, they just don’t see their anger or aloofness as an emotion. So what are we supposed to do with all of these emotions in our lives?
Well, here are 6 tips to begin dealing with the elephant in the room;
- Be Aware– Start to take notice of how you interact with the world. Notice when you are acting or reacting or even overreacting. While in the moment your emotions may not let you see this, take a moment after a conversation or any social interaction and review how it went. Were you polite, interruptive, reactive to their thoughts, beliefs or opinions, this affects you and them!
- Practice Patience – While a fairly simple concept, be patient with yourself and others around you. Remember that everybody has to deal with their own emotions and while you may not like the way somebody interacts with you, remember you don’t know where they were or what happened to them 5 minutes before they saw you. Take a deep breath and let it go, maybe they are dealing with something really hard, don’t take it personally.
- Keep a Journal – Keeping a journal is a great tool to “get it all out” or make sense of the clutter in your head. It is a great resource to say the things you wish you could say but feel you can’t, and to “let go” of everything that weighs you down.
- Do One Thing a Day That You Love – Whether its yoga, or a hike or a run, or something a simple as reading a chapter of a book. Take that 10 minutes or 2 hours to do something for you! Your emotions and your soul will thank you and your presence will show that happiness to all.
- Be Authentic – There is a way to express your feelings, desires and emotions to those that surround you without causing them any ill emotions in return. Don’t do the things you don’t want to do if it doesn’t serve you, but let people know why. “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.” ~ Dr. Suess.
- Breathe – You know in the heat of the moment that you are either angry or upset, take a moment to breathe before reacting. Remember that everybody has problems, challenges and obstacles in their lives and we can interact and still be our own person without being ruled by our emotions.
Our emotions shouldn’t define who we are, and while they can make all the difference in our lives by building lasting emotions of love and happiness, they can also make us live a life of bitterness or sadness. Remember, when you wake up in the morning you have a choice; choose to smile!