I have been on the fence lately– about everything.
I’m making some changes in my life and it seems that the moment I change one thing, everything else is up for grabs too. I’m thinking about the life that I want to live, and realizing that everything is on the table. What is really important? Not what I think.
Indecision is about balance. It’s not always clear what choice leads to balance. My tried and true way is to go with my heart. Choose the option that makes my heart beat faster. But tonight, the ramifications of going in that direction seem extensive. Striking the balance between what feels best for me and what’s really best for me is daunting.
So I’m indecisive.
And that’s fine. It’s like the moment in a Yin yoga pose when you can’t bear the sensation, but you keep breathing and then your body opens up, like a sigh. It’s that moment– my teacher Cam calls it joyful discomfort. There is such freedom in that place.
I’m meditating on my indecision. Getting still and breathing, quieting my mind even as it races. Staying with the joyful discomfort of not knowing how to find balance, confident that I will find the opening I need. Using this indecision as a reminder of how free I am.
Really, it’s a gift to be indecisive.